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Post by netsaver on Apr 21, 2007 8:50:59 GMT -6
What kind of improvement are you looking for??
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Post by lukaskirkby on Apr 21, 2007 10:02:16 GMT -6
the battles, and the storyline development of the whole thing.
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Post by netsaver on Apr 21, 2007 12:03:52 GMT -6
Okay. I will work on it then. I always like critism.
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Post by Banov on Apr 21, 2007 22:40:36 GMT -6
The dialogue is kind of mechanical. Try to use more contractions and slang! Normally people don't walk around saying "It is a good day," they say "It's a good day.." Also, ranchers? Sounds iffy... but hopefully you'll make that work... Kecleon lost! I've got some bittersweet feeling. On one hand Jalen definetley had to lose and he finally used Kecleon, but... Kecleon lost! I guess you gotta make sacrifices for the good of the story. Keep it up, man.
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Post by Vmag on Apr 22, 2007 4:34:07 GMT -6
I dunno bout that, Banov: "It's a good day to die" sounds a bit Too cheerful compared to "It is a good day to die".
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Post by netsaver on Apr 22, 2007 8:12:40 GMT -6
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Post by lukaskirkby on Apr 22, 2007 14:31:19 GMT -6
yeah, the fire attack hurt the eyes. Apart from that, nothing much. Oh and I'm not keen on the back sprite with the cape, it's a bit dodgy.
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Post by netsaver on Apr 22, 2007 16:52:56 GMT -6
I made a new one. You will see it in one of the next comics.
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Post by lukaskirkby on Apr 23, 2007 0:12:02 GMT -6
oky doky then.
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Post by netsaver on Apr 23, 2007 15:00:28 GMT -6
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Post by lukaskirkby on Apr 24, 2007 0:03:03 GMT -6
Jake? Cool! Haven't seen the new backsprite yet though.
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Post by netsaver on Apr 24, 2007 14:36:30 GMT -6
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Post by lukaskirkby on Apr 25, 2007 0:13:09 GMT -6
another good episode, well done
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Post by netsaver on Apr 25, 2007 15:49:29 GMT -6
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Post by netsaver on Apr 27, 2007 15:07:53 GMT -6
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