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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 15, 2011 9:13:08 GMT -6
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Post by daveshn on Aug 15, 2011 10:57:49 GMT -6
Looks cool. Keep me informed.
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 15, 2011 12:44:19 GMT -6
Will do~
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Post by quilteej on Aug 15, 2011 18:51:34 GMT -6
ooooooh... I will keep tabs on this.
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Post by daveshn on Aug 15, 2011 23:47:09 GMT -6
Thanks, Rick. Just a few questions, though, before you get into the story.
Is this tale also an alien?
Does it have a touch that's foreign?
I know it's supernatural, but is it also extraterrestrial?
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 16, 2011 13:12:44 GMT -6
Indeed?
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 17, 2011 9:35:37 GMT -6
Updated :3
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Post by lukaskirkby on Aug 17, 2011 9:57:19 GMT -6
Good luck with this!
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Post by daveshn on Aug 17, 2011 20:48:18 GMT -6
So it does have a touch that's foreign.
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 19, 2011 2:11:25 GMT -6
Updated~ ;D
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 22, 2011 1:37:31 GMT -6
Nuther update is up~
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Post by daveshn on Aug 22, 2011 7:52:24 GMT -6
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Post by Emily Pink on Aug 24, 2011 3:01:55 GMT -6
xD Thanks Dave, New page is up~!
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Post by daveshn on Aug 24, 2011 7:33:31 GMT -6
Awww man, Rick. Show! Don't tell. Have that girl talk to friends or someone about her problems. Direct narration like that is just dull.
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mechy
Moderate Trainer
*chomp*
Posts: 348
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Post by mechy on Aug 24, 2011 11:35:21 GMT -6
Aye, ditto to what daveshn said. It's usually best to integrate exposition as much as you can, so it feels like it's actually part of the story/dialogue/etc. You want it to feel like it actually belongs, with as much shown as possible; and what parts have to be said done like it's a natural part of the dialogue, or something the character would actually think if it's internal thought. Otherwise it feels like an info dump, which need an extremely good justification for being outside of sides/extras where the dump is tolerable since those aren't supposed to be required to be read to enjoy the story, only to add to it for those who want a bit more.
That's just my two cents and I started to rant a bit, though, so take it with a grain of salt and whatever helpful bits I may have accidently got right. XD
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